Top 3

3. Fish-ish

So, I meant to post this a few weeks ago when I decided to go out and purchase some fish! I had googled “small pets” and obviously some crazy animals came up that I had never even heard of, but I went for the less interesting route and chose fish. I found all these articles about how calming they are, blah blah blah. Hey, who couldn’t use a nice calming pet that requires *LITTLE* maintenance? So I up and went to my local PetSmart and harassed one of the workers into spending an hour with me to explain how to care for fish. Yeah, not so easy to own fish, but I overestimated my dedication and purchased 4 fish and a massive tank. For the next 3 hours I half-assed setting up the tank with semi-distilled water and skimming through the information packets. Pssh, I got this.

The first few days were filled with joy. I fed my four lovely fish, named them and stared at them for minutes on end. What a great purchase! Unfortunately those were the only days filled with excitement. About 10 days into owning my little buddies, I woke up to a very odd sight. I found one fish dead (poor little Flower) and three new fish. I was living in a Dr. Seuss book. I guess it’s true that with death comes birth, or whatever that saying is.

So etcetera, etcetera, days go by and the tank gets dirtier because I don’t know how to clean it, especially with three baby fish swimming around. So we come to yesterday. At this point I had lost two fish, but still had five, which was still more than what I started with. Go me. I finally decided that I needed to clean the tank because one of the fish was on it’s death bed and I wanted to be it’s Guardian Angel. Instead I became the Grim Reaper. Oops. Again, I half-assed cleaneing the tank with semi-distilled water and hoped for the best. I got the worst. Within the hour of me scooping out the water and putting the new water in, I had killed all five fish. All of them. Every single one. My Dr. Seuss book came to a sad and scary end, not suitable for children.

Basically, owning fish sucks unless you have dedication or can hire someone to do all the work for you. The little bit of relaxation I experienced was NOT worth the pain and stress of knowing that I had to eventually clean the tank (aka kill everything). On the plus side, I now have a 10-gallon tank that I can use as another way to clutter my room.


2. Spring is Springing

Spring has not “officially” sprung, but it’s in the air; it’s coming.  Apparently Mother Nature didn’t get the note that spring was supposed to start on March 20 because we were granted two more days of debilitating snow. It’s like winter would never end. But this morning when I checked the weather I was given hope that it WAS going to end. The next week shows temperatures in the high 50′s and 60′s and compared to what we’ve had, that is extremely warm! Joy to the Northeast! I am SO beyond excited to whip out my tees and open-toed pumps and tuck away my disgusting winter coat and wool scarves. I’ll most definitely do a post on my new spring favorites and it will be obnoxiously long. While summer is my absolute favorite season because of the heat and going to the beach, the fall and spring will always be my favorite in terms of fashion. Nothing is better than jeans and a tee. I’m too excited.

1. Being Active

I’ve decided that with the new weather coming, I want to start getting outside more. I tend to be a slight homebody, especially in the winter (aka I don’t leave my house. Ever.) and I really think that needs to change. Honestly, I’m 23. I need to get the hell out of the house. It’s borderline embarrassing. Enter my main problem: what am I going to do? I’ve come up with a few ideas, some more realistic than others (I need to stop thinking that I’m going to go for a run) and I’m excited to try some of them out. I’m excited most about attempting to hike. In my mind, hiking means following a well-defined trail in the woods of my local park. I feel like that’s baby-hiking. I need like, adolescent-hiking. Note that I 100% have no idea how I’m going to go about this. I’ll probably get back into my baby-hiking and try to progress from there. We’ll see. This could just be another thing that I start and end within a week. Hopefully not, but only time will tell. I have my fingers crossed that I’ll come across someone that is an obsessed hiker that will help me become a little more coordinated and knowledgable about how to not twist my ankle the second I step onto an uneven surface.

Golden Globes 2014

Unfortunately, the Golden Globes were on this past Sunday, which was when I came home from a weekend in Philadelphia with my girlfriends, i.e., I was passed out in my bed from 5-11pm. However, I obviously watched all the coverage of the fashion on the red carpet in order to see the best and worst dressed. I also read a billion buzzfeed articles about the hilarious moments, awkward speeches, and anything/everything J.Law did (apparently “Lawrencing” is a thing now?). So I think that I got a pretty good feel for what was happening while I was sprawled out with my heated blanket. Here are my picks for best dressed:

Emma Roberts Lanvin

Emma Roberts is to die for in this Lanvin gown. It’s so simple and shows how much she’s matured over the years. Some of her older counterparts should take a lesson in fashion and composure.

kate beckinsale Zuhair Murad

At first I thought Kate Beckinsale was wearing some sort of futuristic lamé gown. Upon closer review, i.e., google imaging, I realized that Zuhair Murad was right on point with this piece. It flatters every one of Kate’s amazing curves, and the dark charcoal color allows it to stand out without being in your face.

Jennfier dior

I don’t care what people say, I thought Jennifer Lawrence ROCKED it in her Dior gown. If you can appreciate true, high-end fashion, then you can appreciate this structured piece. Paired with her new, edgy pixie cut and bold lip, JLaw looks better than ever.

Lupita Nyong'o Ralph

Hi Lupita Nyong’o, you’re fabulous and I’m obsessed with you. While she walked away without the award for Best Supporting Actress, she was still part of the Best Drama Award winning, “12 Years A Slave,” and was named the style star of the season in her Ralph Lauren Cape. Personally, I think they should have just brought her up on stage so everyone could look at her.

Olivia Gucci

Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to look like a hot mess. A lot of stars dressed up their baby bump fabulously on the red carpet this year, but Olivia Wilde did the best job. Her choice of a curve hugging, sequined Gucci gown shows off her amazing body and adorable baby bump. The color also goes great with her ombre hair and fair skin. A win for the pregnant ladies out there!

My absolute favorite, favorite, FAVORITE outfit of the night was worn by non other then Emma Watson.

Emma W Dior

At first it’s just a simple Dior gown with a high slit, then wait, what’s that? OH IT’S ACTUALLY A TOP?! Yeah. That happened. When I saw the back of this amazingness, my mouth dropped. A gown/shirt? Has it ever happened before? It has now, and I loved every second of it.

Unfortunately, not everyone dressed their best at the GG this year…

aubrey Plaza oscar de la renta

I’m not sure what Aubrey Plaza or Oscar De La Renta were thinking about when they saw this gown, but whatever it was, it was wrong. It looks like something you would wear on Easter. Well, it looks like something your mom would buy for you to wear on Easter, but you would refuse.

dianne wiest

Honestly, if Dianne Wiest pulled her straps up onto her shoulders, this wouldn’t be so bad. But she didn’t. So it is.

Reese Calvin

This one isn’t so bad either, but it’s also far from great. Reese Witherspoon is so gorgeous and could probably pull anything off, but instead, she chose this dull Calvin Klein dress. It looks like a mixture of a prom dress and…another prom dress. It just does nothing for her, thus does nothing for me.

Paula Patton Stephanie Rolland

There was a lot going on on Paula Patton’s body on Sunday. The Stephanie Rolland gown, fabric waterfall, peeking shoes and huge earrings just don’t go together. The fabric waterfall goes with nothing. Nothing.

So that’s it for the 2014 Golden Globes. There were plenty of other fabulous and horrendous outfits that you can see at E! online or Huffpost Style.

Now Playing: The Queen

Beyoncé, DUH!!

Did you really think I’d be posting about anything else? If you have been living under a rock for the past month, then I guess you haven’t heard that Beyoncé wow-ed everyone by dropping her latest visual album, “Beyoncé” without telling a SOUL! Her self-titled record went live on iTunes after she made a Facebook announcement and people haven’t stopped downloading since.

2013 has been the “Year of Beyoncé.” Let’s just do a little recap of what 2013 brought for her:

  • Superbowl XLVII Halftime show AND a Destiny’s Child reunion on stage
  • An HBO Documentary about her life and how awesome she is, that she directed and produced
  • After getting shit for pre-recording the national anthem at Obama’s inauguration, she belted out the tune, acapella style, at the Superbowl press Conference. Take that!
  • “The Mrs. Carter World Tour,” which consisted of 132 total performances
  • A Grammy for “Love on Top”
  • Contract to become the new face of H&M
  • Numerous magazine covers, including US & British Vogue
  • The crown title of #1 Hottest Woman of the 21st Century by GQ magazine (no big deal, it’s not like there are 986 more years left)

Ok, that’s really not even the half of how fantastic 2013 was for her, but I don’t want this post to be a mile long. Amongst all of these amazing accomplishments, she also celebrated her fifth wedding anniversary with Jay and Baby Blue’s first birthday. How adorable. Oh, and she also chopped off her fab locks, only to look even hotter than before.

If you haven’t purchased her newest album, I feel bad for you. Actually, I just think you’re dumb, but whatever.  If you don’t have the amazingness that is “Beyoncé,” then you only get to preview some of her legendary videos, as not all have been fully released. I can do my best to summarize, but it’s really not the same thing. At all.

Flawless (Aptly named)

I know when you were little girls
You dreamt of being in my world
Don’t forget it, don’t forget it
Respect that, bow down bitches

Hi. I’m 23 and I still want to be you/in your world.


Albeit this track came with some (disputed) backlash from NASA, it’s true message is clear: Life is short and anything can happen, so make meaning with the one you love while you can. Basically, we should all live life like we are at a carnival and have the best time ever. That’s what I got from it.

Pretty Hurts

But you can’t fix what you can’t see
It’s the soul that needs the surgery

This is probably my favorite song/video on her album.  We all know how harsh the media can be on body shape, especially that of women. In this video, Bey plays a beauty pageant contestant trying to reach the unobtainable: perfection.  She shows how much of a struggle it can be to fit this impossible mold that was created for women, and she couldn’t have done it any better. I don’t think it’s just a coincidence that 10 places down on the track list is “Flawless,” which is Beyoncé saying that she’s totally amazing just the way she is and the media can kiss her ass. You go Yoncé!

In one word, Beyoncé is FABULOUS. End of story. No question. Bye.

Top 3

3. Heated Everything

From many of my other posts, you can clearly come to the conclusion that I detest the cold. If the temperature drops below 65 I begin to contemplate just dropping everything in life and moving to California or Australia. They are the same distance, right? Alas, as the temperature continues to drop and I continue to have brief bouts of (almost) crying fits, there comes a silver lining: the heater.  Whether it’s cuddling with my space heater at work, sitting on the furnace, also at work, or standing too close to the oven when it’s on, if something is generating heat, I will find it and I will stand too close to it. It’s these little things that bring such pleasure to my life during the winter. However, the two heat-related items that beat these by a long shot are my heated blanket and seat warmers. Turning my heated blanket on high before jumping in the shower makes the frigid run from the bathroom worth it. Same goes for when it’s just a gross day outside (today), and all you want to do is lie in bed and watch endless episodes of Law and Order: SVU. It’s the perfect solution to, well, life really.

Should you rudely be forced to venture out into the arctic (5 days-a-week for us working folk), the seat warmer comes into play. If you can’t plug your heated blanket into your car, or wear it without getting into an accident, the next best thing would be keeping your bum and lower back toasty warm (bum?). It’s such a nice feeling that just warms you from the inside out, especially if you forgot your morning coffee, which is ill-advised. A word to the wise: start your car in the morning before you have to leave, that way the seat has time to warm up and you can avoid the pain that is sitting on a frozen seat.

2. Downtime

With the quick drop in temperature and poor salting of the roads, the store I work in hasn’t been as busy as usual. Since this tends to make the hours drag on, I have searched for ways to keep myself busy and more importantly, awake. At first I only thought to swiffer the floors 3 times, only to have them collect an inch of dust 10 minutes later (it’s a super old house), organize the shelves and racks to pure perfection, or play endless games of solitaire.  While my solitaire game has gotten pretty damn good (acing that shit in under 3 minutes- pun intended), it quickly grows old. So I started to find other ways to combat this downtime in order to keep me sane. A lot of these solutions are store-related, but my most productive and stimulating activity has been catching up on all of the books I haven’t had time to read. By “not having enough time,” I clearly mean that I’m too busy watching Modern Family marathons, trying on everything in my closet to find something to wear the next day, or reading every BuzzFeed article that has ever existed, but I digress.

Since I discovered this “solution,” I have finished The Rum Diaries and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, both by Hunter S. Thompson, and more recently (like 10 minutes ago), The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby. I’m still working on Kerouac’s On the Road, but it’s really just slow as shit.

Now that I’m done with Bauby, it’s onto the next: The Worst Hard Time: The Untold Story of Those Who Survived the Great American Dust Bowl by Timothy Egan. I’ve never been must into history, but I figured that I should know something about our country’s past. And of course I’ll be keeping up with Kerouac, slowly but surely. Hopefully I can get it finished within the next year…

Also, any book suggestions would be greatly appreciated! You can’t always trust those Amazon reviews.

1. Fast Acting Advil

Yes, I am aware that this is an odd “Top 3,” but hear me out. I’m not sure if I’ve complained about my knees yet, so I’m just going to do it, potentially again. I’ve had bad knees since high school but everyone just kind of assumed I was full of shit, even though my knees noticeably turn inward. Thanks guys. It has gotten exponentially worse over the past 6 years and as of late it has almost become unbearable. The pain radiates down to my ankles and then back all the way up to my hips and sometimes even my lower back gets in on the fun! It’s really awesome. Also, because of this lovely issue, I am forced to crack my knees and ankles incessantly, and when they won’t crack, it causes more pain. Seriously, it’s the best thing ever.

So the point of all this rambling about how much pain I’m in every night (it hurts worst at night because everything stiffens up when I’m sitting still), is to tell you how I deal with it, because I know how interested you all are. After bitching at my orthopedist for telling me that nothing showed up on the x-rays and there wasn’t much they could do, he prescribed my some shit anti-inflammatory that did nothing. Thus the use of Fast Acting Advil, which has allowed me to actually fall asleep at night, instead of laying awake in pain. I still have to take 3 or 4 due to my built-up tolerance over the years, but I’d rather that than waking up at 4am because I feel like I lost a fight with Metta World Peace. However, there are still times where I still feel as though I’m slowly dying because the pain is greater than any medication. Those days are my favorite!